The distance you keep when you talk to others reveals your culture. Generally speaking, westerners like to keep 2-4 feet as the personal zone when they talk in earnest about something. Asians are accustomed to talking to others from a closer distance. The Chinese like to be within arms’ reach or closer when they are talking. Unlike western practice, it is very common to see two persons of the same gender walking and talking together with one’s arm on another’s shoulder, or two women talking hand in hand. Generally speaking, the persons of the same gender keep a closer distance in the public than those of different gender. It is against traditional Chinese values to show love and affection in public. So there was no hugging no kissing, even no hand-shaking in public in old days.
Contrary to what one might think, the distance the Chinese keep to strangers is less than that to their ordinary friends. In an experiment, a sociologist randomly chose twenty persons and asked them to get on board a small van. They did squeeze in with no distance in between at the beginning. Then they were arranged to know each other and became friends. A few days later, they were asked to get on board the same van, but they failed in getting all in.
The experiment shows that the Chinese treat their friends differently from strangers. Among friends, they have certain respect, which prevent them to elbow against each other. In another word, the Chinese behave more decently in the presence of ones they know. So you will find a well-behaved child in the presence of parents; good pupils before teachers, and so on. As to strangers, they are not that alert of their behaviours and the incurring consequences. The ill behaviours, such as elbowing one’s way through the crowd, jaywalking across the street and jumping the queue, are not hard to understand.
Editor: Yan Yanru
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