The Chinese like to use words that express profession or social status when addressing each other or referring to other people. This kind of underlines the fact that they pay a lot of attention to social roles and the status of each individual - thus defining the pattern of interaction and how people relate to each other. Surname comes before the title, such as in “doctor Zhang”, Zhàng dàifu , "accountant Li”, Lǐ kuàijì , teacher Liu, Liú lǎoshī etc.
The main rule in addressing Chinese people is that the family name comes before a title, and the family name is also placed before a person’s first name. This just might stem from the Chinese manner of approaching the world and its phenomena from bigger entities to smaller ones. This also can be attributed to a large extent the fact that Chinese society focuses on social groups rather than on single members.
A practical example of this way of thinking is the manner in which the Chinese traditionally write an address on an envelope: first they write the name of the country, then the city and the street address, and finally comes the name of the person who will receive the letter. In most western countries the order is the reverse - the person’s name first, then the city and after that the country name. Placing the family name before the personal given name implies that the family is more important than any individual member of it.
The complexity of family relations
Within Chinese families, people do not call each other by their names, but instead by words indicating their mutual relationship. There are dozens of different names used to address younger or elder sisters, brothers of various ages, uncles and aunties from the mother’s and father’s side, younger brother’s wife, elder sister’s husband, father’s little sister and mother’s younger brother… not to mention cousins of various ages. Better not to try to grasp it all at once.
Parents address their children in two ways. One way is to call them, according to their age from the eldest to the youngest, lǎodà (the eldest), lǎoèr (the second eldest), lǎosān (the third eldest), etc until the youngest regardless of sex. The second way is to call sons and daughters separately. Sons are called, from the eldest to the youngest, dà érzi (the eldest son), èr érzi (the second eldest son) ... and the youngest is called xiǎo érzi. It is the same for the daughters who are called dà nǔ’ér (the eldest daughter), èr nǔ’ér (the second eldest daughter) ... until xiɑo nǔ’ér (the youngest daughter). The daughter-in-law is called erxi, and son-in-law is called nǔxǜ. The wife of the eldest son is called dà èrxí (the eldest daughter-in-law). The husband of the second eldest daughter is called èr nǔxǜ (the second eldest son-in-law).
Grandparents call the son’s children sūnzi (grandson) or sūnnü (granddaughter), the daughter’s children wàisun (grandson) or wàisūnnü (granddaughter). “Wài” indicates they have a different surname. Accordingly, the son’s children call grandparents yéye(paternal grandfather) and nǎinai (paternal grandmother). The daughter’s children call grandparents wàigōng (maternal grandfather) and wàipó maternal grandmother), who in North China are also called lǎoye and lǎolao respectively.
The son, the daughter-in-law, the daughter and the son-in-law address the parents in the same way as bàbɑ and māmɑ when talking to them (also diē and niáng in northern China). But in the absence of the parents, the daughter-in-law can call her husband’s parents gōnggong (father-in-law) and pópo (mother-in-law), and the son-in-law can call his wife’s parents yuèfù and yuèmǔ, or zhàngren and zhàngmuniɑng.
The terms of address for the siblings of father and mother are different. Father’s elder brother is called bóbo (paternal uncle), and his younger brother shūshu (paternal uncle), while his sisters are called gūgu or gūmā (paternal aunt). Mother’s brothers are all called jìujìu (maternal uncle), and her sisters yí or yímā (maternal aunt). For example, “sānshū” is the third younger brother of father, and “dàyí” is the mother’s eldest sister.
In daily life, some terms of address for the relatives are often used for non-relatives. For instance, the man a little older than father and mother is addressed as bóbo, and the man younger shūshu. Females are generally called āyí by younger people of the next generation. In Beijing and some other regions, they are also called dàmā. Old people of grandfather’s and grandmother’s age can also be addressed as yéye and nǎinai.
Editor: Wen Yi
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